We are bonkers.
We are boutique.
We are London’s only immersive cabaret.
We are a cabinet of curiosities, historical and experiential where the party comes alive onstage and around you in a refuge of old world chic and surreal irreverence.
We are fancy dress, show-stopping performances and awesome lighting displays.
You enter into a basement bar with good vibes and even better company. If you choose to be entertained you’ll have the choice of heading up to the Observatory, Mr Stendhal’s Room or The Hidden.
Mr. Stendhal’s Room and The Hidden all offer Sofa Time, where you pay for a period and share a sofa with your entertainer. You’ll have fancy dress, tethers, masks and head massagers in a beautiful space.
In The Hidden, you are paying for a room to yourself (or your group) and have the option of playing your own background music and getting very silly indeed. Did somebody say party?
You’re more than welcome to hang out in the bar cracking funnies all evening.
Alternatively you can pay to be teased, which is what we do for a living.
All prices per hour, per Provocateur. With 10% discretionary service charge
The Private Peep Show – 15 Mins – £140
A taste of tease…consider this fleeting moment an introduction of what could be an all-night experience. Sit back and relax and enjoy a performance of erotica from the provocateur you have connected with most.
The Brief Encounter – 30 mins – £270
For those insatiable few who want moments to last longer, a brief, but irresistible encounter to give you that little bit more… enjoy a sensual half hour of seduction and tease.
The Dangerous Liaison – 1 hour – £520
The Provocateurs are seasoned courtesans, skilled in the art of erotic entertainment. Let them guide you through an experience of folly, conversation and wit. The Dangerous Liaison is a moment where you will experience the full scope of a Provocateur’s talents and charm.
The Bookcase Experience – 1 Hour – £800
If you’re committed to fulfilling the edges of your imagination and losing yourself in a night of debauched hedonism – then we dare you to find our hidden private party den. A world just for you…where drinks are on us and you take control of the DJ decks. An hour of play with multi-sensory light projections and an armoire of fancy-dress. Indulge!
We’re reasonable. A glass of prosecco is £7 and a double mixer is £10.
21 without exception. We don’t make the rules, the Council does.
As many of our guests wear suits we recommend smart casual at the least. Please call ahead if you’ve already left home in a hawaiian shirt and are unsure.
We are licenced until 6am but last entry is at 2.45am.
That’s a firm ‘No’. Please don’t try.
Another firm ‘No’.
As you may have figured out by now, no.
Ethos & Etiquette
We believe that if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing very well indeed.
We hold respect to be the most admirable of virtues.
We insist that when being naughty one must still be nice.
Remember that good manners cost nothing.
Join in the fun.
Never, ever order a Jägerbomb.
Giggle, gasp, but please don’t touch.
Our spectacular four-storey townhouse is available for hire for film and photoshoots as well as meetings, parties and private events for up to 200 people.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org with any enquiries or to arrange a viewing.
Reservations available from 7pm to 2.45am Monday to Friday